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Last week I received an email from a friend who was given an assignment to pose the following question to people who know her.
When I walk in the room, how do I show up?
I immediately had two strong reactions….
My first thought was “That’s BRILLIANT!” We don’t get to experience ourselves the way other people experience us. We may have opinions about who we think we are, but they tend to be distorted. We are our own worst critic, quick to point out all our faults. We have little awareness of the actual impact we make to both those we are close to and strangers alike.
What better way to really discover who we are, than to directly ask those who know us best! The question “When I walk in the room, how do I show up?” is really asking “Who am I?”.
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It is a gift to look into a mirror that gives back an accurate reflection of who we are, not the distorted vision we have of ourselves. This is not intended to make us feel better about ourselves (although that may be a by-product), nor is it meant to give us an over inflated ego. The purpose of this question is simply to help us get who we really are in this world, the role we play and the difference we make. To help us discover our AWESOMENESS!
Yes, it was a BRILLIANT question! Then came my second response, “OMG – that’s TERRIFYING!” We have to be pretty darn brave to actually ask that question of people in our life. It takes courage…..to seek out the truth, to hear the response, to see our reflection.
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But BRILLIANT overpowered TERRIFYING, at least in the moment, when I decided that I simply had to share this with you, challenge you and give you the opportunity to see who you really are.
Then TERRIFYING overpowered BRILLIANT, when I realized there was no integrity in me encouraging you to go for it, to discover your awesomeness, if I wasn’t willing to play right along! This is not a journey of “do what I say, not what I do”! I have always pledged to talk the talk and walk the walk – even when it’s uncomfortable.
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So I drafted an email to a few friends and family members, asking them to play this crazy game with me. Much like jumping out of a plane, as I was about to hit the send button, I wondered if my parachute would open or if I’d come crashing down to the ground. It felt like a long free fall, but my parachute did open, and I landed safely, enveloped in the love and honesty of my friends.
While this entire exercise was enlightening, what I found most intriguing was discovering the common thread among my friend’s responses. The word that was most frequently used to describe me was passionate. Being a lover of words, I went in search of a better understanding of what that meant. Passionate is defined as showing or caused by strong feelings or a strong belief. Synonyms of passionate include intense, heartfelt, eager, excited, animated, spirited, energetic. I was starting to get a visual picture of why this adjective was used to characterize me.
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Then I happened upon a definition that I could totally and completely relate to, that gave me the best explanation of why multiple people chose the word passion to distinguish who I am!
Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is ambition that is materialized into action, to put as much heart, mind, body and soul into something as is possible.
Yes, that is who I am – passionate!
WHO ARE YOU? Are you feeling courageous? Like a student of life, ready to take on the next lesson? Posing this question to people in your life will require you to be vulnerable and exposed, but the payoff of discovering who you are and how you occur in the world is worth it!
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GO FOR IT! Be brave and have fun!
P. S. I was so moved by how my friends graciously gave me the gift of my reflection, that I in turn gave them back the same gift, and told them how they occur for me, who they are in this world and what a difference they make. When you give….you receive more in return!
with Joy & Gratitude,
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